Who’s that Girl?

These past few weeks I’ve been reading pocketbooks to ward off my eternal boredom. And then I noticed that the stories I’ve read—Deveraux’s “The Summerhouse”, Potter’s “Be Careful What You Wish For” and “Who’s that Girl?”—all have one thing in common, TIME. At first, I thought it was CHANCE, but then I realized, CHANCE always involves TIME right? Anyways, I’m completely missing the point right here. What if… I would see myself, ten years younger than what I am now… what advice would I give her?
Way back when I was still nine years old, I think I was still in fourth grade, trying to be “popular” with the other popular girls. Of course, I was already a tad overweight at that time and really messy. Oh my God… I even had a strawler that time! You know, those trolley-like bags, that instead of carrying them on your back, you just have to drag it with you all over the place. No, seriously, as pathetic as it sounds, I did have one of those things. And to top it off, it was PINK! Sometimes I would look over the west window of our classroom and just admire the view of my crush from downstairs. He was the conductor of our school’s drum and bugles. He was gorgeous! And as far as I was concerned, he was the most popular guy in our school. Now, I sound so pathetic. I never felt like I ruled that school, I never felt so powerless than me way back in grade school. It’s ironic, really, in most of the teen-oriented movies produced in the U. S.; ordinary people would regard their high school years as the worst years of their lives. Well, for me, it was grade school. You can’t imagine how many silly kids with smelly sweat all over their bodies would make fun of you. It’s annoying! And definitely disgusting! Argh!
So, going back to the question, what advice would I give to my nine-year-old self? Just imagine me talking to myself in a not-so-schizophrenic way, alright?

1. Keep away from those large bags of Mr. Chips and Piatos!
As a grade schooler, junk foods woul d be considered as “food for the soul”, or what is usually called in bayous of Louisiana as “Soul Food”. But girl… come one! Those extra sodium and potassium in your body could get you hypertension in the future, then stroke, then stupor, then coma, then DEATH! But really, and seriously, stay away from those, they’re nothing but MSG! And they will kill your brain cells, then you might get Alzheimer’s disease, then…

2. Wear sunscreen at least at an SPF of 50
Nyma, I know how much you love the beach, but please slather on some Nivea before splashing yourself on some salty beach water! The Philippines is quite impartial to girls with your complexion, they might mistake you as some indigent from a faraway mountain, which, you are not.

3. Don’t play too much under the sun
Do you know how much you hate smelly and sweaty grade schoolers in the year 2010? Especially if they would sit beside you in the jeepney, you then get those disturbing shivers down your spine that would signal your brain and your hands to cover your nose. Yes, dear, it’s THAT bad.

4. Wear a deodorant already!
You have to force your mother to buy a deodorant for yourself and then tell her “tawas” is an old visayan myth.

5. Don’t even think about wearing those tomboy-ish baggy pants
Admit it, you are fat, and those baggy pants won’t help you even a tiny bit. If you want to make a statement, then wear a statement shirt, just don’t touch those baggy pants, you’ll regret that in the future.

6. Don’t buy those ultra cute cup-A’s from Avon…
… because in less than a year your hooters are going to get a wee bigger. Trust me, puberty is a lot to handle. Don’t worry if your nipples would sometimes stick out behind that white uniform, grade school boys haven’t discovered testosterone and porn yet at that time.

7. Just keep drawing… Just keep drawing… Just keep drawing
Don’t let anyone stop you from keeping your eyes on the prize. Let your artistic skills reach its peak. Maybe one day you’ll be good enough to audition for a spot at UP Fine Arts and then next stop… School of Visual Arts! And don’t even think about slacking off, it’s a waste of your precious grade school time. EYES ON THE PRIZE!

8. Read pocketbooks, STAT!
As underrated as pocketbooks are, you can actually learn things from the writers you’ll love in your teen years. Inspire yourself now and apply what you’ve learned from these books in your real life. Just don’t overdo it, okay?

9. Don’t let the most popular girl at school bully you
Don’t be mistaken by her power, she’s just as vulnerable as you are. Maybe, she would turn out as the most pathetic person you’d know as soon as you graduate in high school. It’s true that popularity at that age would have the wrong reasons. Who would’ve believed that I was a wallflower once? Looking at my nine-year-old self, all I could say is, “Girl, you are definitely helpless! But definitely not hopeless”. Trust me, you would turn out to be a whole lot better a person in the future.

10. Be as academically smart as you can
If you only graduated as smart as you are in 2010, you could’ve landed that scholarship in your high school! Don’t ever settle for less, don’t ever settle for a half scholarship at some bogus university and never let your grade school teachers fool you on suggesting that you stay behind for your high school years to come. SPOILER ALERT: By the way, even without a scholarship in high school, you still made it! The first and second years of high school would be a shock to you, but the third and fourth would be the best years of your life.

If only I could hitch a ride in a time machine, I would definitely go back ten years earlier to tell myself THAT I COULD DO BETTER. But… and yes there’s a large BUT in here… if I try hard to muse over every advice and if ever I did actually do it when I was nine years old, I wouldn’t be who I am today. As unbelievable as it may seem, I do love myself-- flaws and all.
For example, if I had followed my mother’s instructions of applying sunscreen all over me, I wouldn’t be as tan as I am today. My friends and I know being fair in complexion JUST AIN’T ME. I just can’t easily deny that I like being under the heat of the sun and I wouldn’t mind having a tan. I know it’s gonna get ugly in about ten to twenty years from now, but, what the heck, I’ll compensate, just trust me.

If I hadn’t allowed my nine-year-old self to play under the sun, slack off and just enjoy being me without the books and the academic pressure, I wouldn’t have a childhood. I remember in one episode of Sex and the City that one thing Samantha was proud about herself was the fact that she actually had a childhood, compared to the teenagers nowadays who want to grow up fast without even stopping and taking a look at what this would do to them wholly. I definitely don’t want to miss a second of my childhood. A career can wait, I promise.

Even if I read Deveraux, McNaught, Steele, Potter and Austen at that early time of my life, I wouldn’t have understood what they were trying to tell me. Even if I tried my hardest, my nine-year-old brain couldn’t even take it, even my brain cells would surrender! Then, I would just end up re-reading them in my teenage years which is such a waste of time. Also, I line to the previous statement, if I haven’t been slacking off, I wouldn’t have been able to read books and write stuff. It’s a shame since these are two of my most favorite hobbies. And if I wouldn’t permit myself to slack off for a while, I know in the future when I turn 30-ish, I would feel the pang of realizing that I WAS SO STRESSED OUT. Maybe I’d even throw a huge fit and realize things when it is already too late.

If I did have a career in visual arts, I wouldn’t have been able to meet the wonderful people who became my friends from high school to college. I wouldn’t have been able to study nursing and I wouldn’t have been able to graduate from Xavier. Even Pol Medina, Jr. who I admire so much, was an engineer before going on to full-time cartoonist.
If I hadn’t let the most popular girl at school bully me, I wouldn’t have the foundation, the grounds and the right reason of being as mean as I am today. The fact is I realized in high school how you could stand up for yourself without even trampling all over your friends. I learned how to defend and to protect myself and my friends from those people who are trying to bring us down. I swore to myself I wouldn’t let that happen to me anymore. As Beyonce said, “Some call it arrogant, I call it confident”. Sometimes I do live by with the saying that it is better to be feared. But also, I believe that the secret to life is to keep your closest friends at a hugging distance.

Lastly, if wouldn’t have eaten the extra salty chips, I wouldn’t have been a fatty right now and also I wouldn’t have THE hooters I have, hence, I wouldn’t be ME. I just couldn’t imagine myself looking straight into a mirror, seeing a slim figure right in front of me. I know I should shed a couple of pounds but I don’t expect so much as to turn into Kim Chiu one of these days. I even wonder when my mother would accept that I would always be as I am now—a little fat. But, for me, I am satisfied.
I know I have always written about myself since… ever. What can I say? I haven’t seen the world yet. Maybe next time I would be

 

writing my musings while I’m riding a camel across the Moroccan dessert or maybe while I’m chilling out and sunbathing at the Cathedral Cove in New Zealand. Who knows?